Breast Augmentation, Circumcision, Abuse & Beauty Pagents

I posted the following to my facebook stream to share, with the following comment:

Imagine if you got breast implants for your 15th birthday from your father who took out a loan from the bank. The bank gives your father the loan because the bank understands that you are more likely to be successful and make money with big boobs. Sound absurd? In Venezuela it's reality.

You can read the full article and donate to the project by clicking here.

I was surprised by the array of comments that were posted, and I think the discussion is worth posting here for others to think about and consider. Many of the comments brought up issues that affect us, in our own country.

I have added some notes in [brackets].

The discussion:


Jim Welke: It's reality in Hollywood.


Donna Bowen: Would love a bit of a nip and tuck, lol.


Matt Goehrig: This reminds of the time when I was 15 and my dad paid for my breast implants. [Being sarcastic.]


Cheli Bremmer: "Tits and Aaaaasss, got myself a fancy pair, tightened up the derriere... did the nose with it, all that goes with it. It's a gaaass".... now THAT dates me.

Raederle Phoenix: I just find it incredibly sad that people are willing to mutilate themselves in the name of beauty. It's incredibly ugly.

Matt Goehrig: I know right? who would ever get a piercing? or a tattoo? or a circumcision? Okay, well.. two out of three of those seem like good ideas... but I agree with you on the breasts thing.


Cheli Bremmer: It comes of being too caught up in things that are by their nature illusory. We exchange Reality for Illusion and then chase the things that are the most fleeting. Something like that.


Donna Bowen: I got a tattoo I was having a midlife I put my kids names on it.


Marie Johnson: I'm sorry but I'm surprised at how lightly everyone is taking this clip that Raederle shared... Even if you are okay with plastic surgery, there is a whole other facet here that everyone is overlooking, and that is the rampant abuse that is going on over there because of the fact that these girls are truly seen as objects.

These young girls are being beaten and killed as if their lives was not worth anything. With the prevalence of plastic surgery here, in California at least, and the fact that younger and younger girls are starting to get it here as well... The question is how long before our own girls are treated as harshly?

Raederle Phoenix: In response to Matt -- I honestly am not for piercings, tattoos or circumcision either. I don't make a fuss about it though -- people can do what they want with their bodies. There is a big difference however in a tiny hole through the ear that has little to no risk and costs very little and a long expensive surgery with multitudes of risks that has no health benefit or necessity.

In response to Marie -- Thank goodness someone has some sense. I cried through that video. It's one of those bits of information that is hard to carry. Obsession with perfect appearance and abuse go hand in hand. I think the project is worth donating to, and if I had the money, I'd at least make a small pledge.

Vviolent Vickie: I wouldnt want my dad thinkin about my tits... and yes i do find this very disturbing.


Matt Goehrig: For the record, I think tattoos are cool, but I dont like peircings. I think that silly, if you'll forgive me for using the word "silly." Its like putting make up on.... What crackpot thought it would be a good idea to paint your face and put holes in your skin? That should be left to clowns and surgeons.... I think some aspects of our culture are just silly. Tattoos, on the other hand, can be pretty cool...

I think the reason why I can like some tattoos but not piercings, is that tattoos are not cosmetic (and if they are, I don't think i'd like it). Things that are purely cosmetic just seem to vain and ridiculous to me. Sometimes I think the line between self-expression and vanity is blurred though, and I can understand the use of piercings and makeup for those reasons, though it more often both are attempts at something else...


Cheli Bremmer: Tattoos and piercings are a personal choice. Breast implants come from a message in our society that we have to have breasts look a certain way in order to be pleasing. Whatever. Overall, it's still a personal choice, but if women would refuse, then our perception of women's bodies would change. Circumcision is cutting the genitals of babies who ARE NOT GIVEN A CHOICE IN THE MATTER.


Matt Goehrig: Babies don't get to choose anything about their lives.. Maybe we should only feed them food they like when they want it, and only send kids to school when they want to, and never take them to the doctor, and have them buy their own clothes... yea, lets just treat babies like they're adults who can make decisions for themselves.


Vviolent Vickie: Maybe what we should be thinking about here is how they are linking the obsession with plastic surgery/the objectification of women with domestic violence. how r these things related?

I found this: "Individual sexist acts may seem harmless, but they ultimately foster disrespect for women and women’s well-being, which makes rape and abuse seem more acceptable. In this way, telling a sexist joke, using sexist language, blaming a victim of sexual assault, or displaying an objectifying poster actually contributes to a culture that allows sexual violence to occur."

And this: Sexual objectification is seeing a person as a sexual object and emphasizing their sexual attributes and physical attractiveness, while de-emphasizing their existence as a living person with emotions and feelings of their own.


Annelie Russell: When I was around 11, my parents sent me to "charm school", because I was too much like a tom boy. It was basically modeling, and we had to participate on the run way. Some people like it, I remember hating it and didn't wear a dress for years! It starts in the home, and one by one they will wake up.


Cheli Bremmer: Matt, I think it's wrong to cut off someone's body parts. They scream their heads off, and it's unnecessary. I think you're taking my point a little far to the extreme. [Agreed Cheli.]


Nikki Scott: Perhaps the populace could demand that beauty pageant officials change their terms of entry. Anyone who has had surgeries to augment appearance (ie: lip injections, breast augmentation, eyebrow lifts, etc.) are disqualified.

Raederle Phoenix:

In response to Matt -- It's true, babies can not choose for themselves, which is why every human should do their best to research and educate themselves about all possible options, pros and cons, etc, before making huge decisions that will affect their child for their entire life before they make such decisions.

In response to Vickie -- Great quotes you found. It is important to draw that connection, indeed.

In response to Annelie -- Everyone is their own person. (I'm agreeing with you, just expanding:) Some men want to stay home and raise kids and take care of the home, and if the woman makes enough money for kids and husband, that's fine, and vise versa. If a woman wants to play sports, that's fine.

It's when we start to say "you shouldn't cry because you're a man" or "you need tits because you're a woman" that we cause people to force themselves to be something they are not in order to "fit in" which makes them miserable people who are not productive/happy/fulfilled members of society.

Cheli Bremmer: We are a group of people who agree on the basics: live and let live -- stop messing with nature and enjoy who we are and what we are, and try to live within reasonable bounds of goodwill and health. Agreed?? By the way, Nikki, I think your idea is brilliant.

Raederle Phoenix:

In response to Cheli -- Indeed. But Matt has trouble accepting anything that is not conventional wisdom. "If circumcision is what they do in hospitals in America, it must be okay" sort of attitude. It's common and unfortunate. I know several men who have not been circumcised. It takes a few extra moments in the shower of cleaning. Before we had showers and knew about hygiene, infections were a problem. Now we know, so it's just pointless mutilation.

The Craft of Writing

I attend a Writer's Group every other Tuesday evening. We have two scheduled hours, but sometimes we stay longer and chat. The two scheduled hours include half an hour for business at the beginning, followed by three readers who eat get ten to fifteen minutes to read, and then fifteen to twenty minutes of feedback (or we just chat about the piece until we have nothing left to say).

I was at the very first meeting a couple years ago, and until I moved to California I never missed a single meeting. Since I've moved back to Buffalo, New York, I have not missed a meeting. In just a short while I'll be heading off to one of the member's homes for tonight's meeting, which is a very special occasion for us.

Instead of doing the general three readers tonight, we'll be sharing our tips and tricks on writing itself. We'll talk about the craft. I'm really excited to hear the process behind the other writers in the group. We're friends now, the entire group, but while we've heard each other read a lot, and know much about the lives of one another, we have not yet done a meeting to discuss our craft at length.

For the meeting I've prepared a handout of some of my favorite writing advice from various sources as well as a couple things I think may be helpful to writer, even if not directly relating to writing itself.

The handout goes as follows:

A Collection of

Writer's Craft Tips

Assembled by Raederle Phoenix

"Good books don't give up all their secrets at once." — Stephen King

"If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that." — Stephen King

"The road to hell is paved with adverbs." — Stephen King (On Writing)

"Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on." — Stephen King (Bag of Bones)

“Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s.” — Stephen King (On Writing)

“Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.” — Stephen King

Bill Harper: “Try not to edit while you’re creating your first draft. Creating and editing are two separate processes using different sides of the brain, and if you try doing both at once you’ll lose. Make a deal with your internal editor that it will get the chance to rip your piece to shreds; it will just need to wait some time.

“A really nice trick is to switch off your monitor when you’re typing. You can’t edit what you can’t see.”

Pete Bollini: "I sometimes write out 8 to 10 pages from the book of my favorite writer… in longhand. This helps me to get started and swing into the style I wish to write in."

Kukusha: "Learn to take criticism and seek it out at every opportunity. Don’t get upset even if you think the criticism is harsh, don’t be offended even if you think it’s wrong, and always thank those who take the time to offer it."

Lillie Ammann: "After editing the work on screen or in print, I like to read the text aloud. Awkward sentences and errors that slipped through earlier edits show up readily when reading out loud."

Professor Strunk: “A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.”

"David": "Write as if you’re on deadline and have 500 words to make your point. Then do it again. And again."

Mark Twain: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

Joanna Young: “One that works for me every time is to focus on the positive intention behind my writing. What is it that I want to communicate, express, convey? By focusing on that, by getting into the state that I’m trying to express, I find that I stop worrying about the words – just let them tumble out of their own accord.

“It’s a great strategy for beating writer’s block, or overcoming anxiety about a particular piece of writing, whether that’s composing a formal business letter, writing a piece from the heart, or guest blogging somewhere ‘big’…”

Caroline: "I watch my action tense and wordiness in sentences when I am writing my technical diddley.

"For example, in a sentence where you say …”you will have to…” I replace it with “…you must…”, or “Click on the Go button to…” can be replaced with “Click Go to…”.

"Think of words such as “enables”, instead of “allows you to” or “helps you to”.

"If one word will work where three are, replace it! I always find these, where I slip into conversational as I am writing quickly, then go back and purge, purge, purge."

Raederle: Only read your favorite writers when writing your masterpiece. What you read will affect your word choice, grammar, punctuation, point-of-view, character depth, syntax, etc. Just as your body is made up of what you eat, your writing is made up of what you read.

The reason I was inspired to use quotes from Steven King was because his wonderful book "On Writing" has helped my writing immensely. I loved the book through and through, and take Steven's advice seriously. Sure, he doesn't writing "my sort of thing" in terms of genre, but he's clearly a successful writer who knows what he's talking about.

*smiles warmly*

Thanks for stopping by and reading.

~ Raederle

Idenity

I used to hate doing dishes. And I do mean hate it.

The idea of doing dishes plagued me. I knew one day I'd have to do them regularly. I expected it to come, and dreaded it.

I didn't mind laundry. Sure, it was tough as a child to lean into the washer to pull out the clothes, but hanging them up on the drying rack was a game. I could even sit on the floor while hanging the socks on the lowest bar of the drying rack. The collapsible wooden rack wasn't replaced with a dryer until a dryer was donated to us after the house fire when I was fourteen.

But I hated doing those dishes with a passion. I had to stand in one place the entire time! That was a big deal to me as a kid. Standing in place. I misinterpreted my dislike of standing in place for a dislike of dishes. The dishes, as it turns out, are entirely neutral.

When I was twelve or thirteen I came to realize what I hated so much was a matter of poor blood pressure. Standing in place would cause my legs to become red, and then blotchy. My circulation was so weak that it couldn't pump the blood back out of my feet and back into the rest of my body. I became light headed and my legs would itch terribly.

I like being bare foot. Wearing shoes always made me feel off balance as a child, so I would be standing in front of the sink barefoot, legs blotchy, red and and itching with my arms raised up high to reach into the sink. To make it worse, water ran down my arms and dripped all over the floor and mixed with the dirt on the floor and then stuck to the bottom of my feet.

I couldn't stand more than five or six minutes before I became so miserable that I threw a tantrum. I was so adamant about not doing the dishes that I didn't spend much time doing it as a child at all. I was so useless when it came to chores and so often sick and kept in bed that I spent little time cleaning in general.

I didn't even realize that sinks got dirty and that someone had to clean then until I was seventeen.

This sounds like a rant about my poor childhood health, but that isn't actually my point at all. I thought I hated doing the dishes, but in reality, I had a root problem: my health.

Many of us believe we have to do things daily that we hate, but in reality, we don't hate what we're doing. What we're doing can be a job, a career, a calling, or nothing to us at all. What we're doing can be a chore, or it can be effortless. It is our attitude and our disposition that determine how we feel about what we're doing.

This was brought to my attention in particular today by washing my feet in the shower after they became dirty from wandering around the kitchen floor barefoot. I realized I wasn't troubled by my dirty feet or by washing them. It then occurred to me how much I would have resented it as a child. It would have been an affront to my livelihood. Perhaps even something that might have made me feel depressed.

My poor circulation prevented me from being able to enjoy many simple tasks. If you asked me as I child how I felted about showers, I would have literally replied, "I hate them." Baths were acceptable, since I could sit the entire time.

I came off as a very negative child who hated everything about life. In some ways, I was, but that wasn't the real me. That was a lump of unresolved issues. The real me was an artistic creative fun-loving compassionate person: and that me was buried beneath my problems.

Many people go on ignoring the root causes of their unhappiness their entire life. I'm very blessed and very grateful to discover that my health was the main source of my misery so early in my life.

I could have gone on to become several hundred pounds overweight at the rate I was going. I went from 120lbs at the age of thirteen to 153lbs at the age of sixteen. At the rate I was going -- 33 pounds in three years, or 11 pounds a year -- I would have been 219lbs by today.

My self-esteem was already bad at sixteen, imagine what it would be today if I hadn't done something about my health.

Health might not be a problem you're struggling with, but we all have problems that affect the quality of our life. Until we acknowledge them and work on self-improvement, we continue to be easily agitated. We curse under our breath about every little thing. As unhappy people we might even adopt "easily annoyed" as a personality trait.

"Easily annoyed" is not a personality trait. That is a personality flaw. Or more accurately, it's not your personality at all, but just a sign that your real personality is being blocked by circumstances. It means that you are not satisfied with your life. It means you're not satisfied with you.

People take on things like "commonly angry" as part of their identity. They become confrontational and defensive when others ask them "What's wrong?" This sort of behavior drives away loved ones, prevents possible friendships, and destroys opportunities to find fulfilling employment.

I'm not saying, "Oh, I've discovered my big problem and solved it, so now I'm perfect." If that were the case I might not even be writing this right now. If I had achieved a state of being where I was always calm, never lost my temper and never felt depressed... then I might not easily recall how important and how difficult it is to pull oneself from situations of denial, confrontation and anger.

I'm constantly amazed on a daily basis how much has changed in the past few years. I look different, I think differently, I dress differently, I interpret people I encounter differently, I look back on memories differently, etc. And I believe all of these changes are positive. It is a great source of joy in my life to see how much I've grown and improved.

It's draining to feel like you're "screwing up" your life. It's double-draining because you not only feel like you're creating a mess, but simultaneously you're not achieving your dreams in life. You're not getting closer to your long-term goals. Perhaps you don't think you have any long-term goals, but that is an even bigger problem.

Long-term goals are your desires, but more than that; they are desires you are actively planning on achieving. They are not just absent wishes. Goals are something you are striving for regularly, perhaps even on a daily basis.

When your goal is to become a published author you write regularly, perhaps every single night. You have a book you're working on for hours each week. Those hours make your entire life feel like it's going in the right direction. This is because your life has direction when you have a goal you're working towards. It's not just "oh, I'd like to be published," it's "Hey, I'm working on this book and it's coming along great, and yesterday I was invited to an event where I'm going to meet a lot of people -- maybe I'll meet an agent!"

If your goal is to become a rock star then you spend your free time jamming on your guitar or your drums or singing. Even if you never become a rock star, you'll still accomplish a lot. You'll be a happier person, you will attract good people into your life, you will learn several musical talents, and as a result you'll have successful performances that earn you respect and money. But most importantly, you'll feel at peace with yourself.

You can't ever love yourself if you're working a job you hate, living a lie, denying your desires and blocking out all possibility of achieving your dreams.

Your identity does not involve being depressed, angry, annoyed, upset, or being a "loser." Your identity does involve who you desire to be, your aspirations, your goals and your talents.

Once upon a time I defined myself as a "pitiful barbie" and I used that as my main e-mail address for over ten years. I deemed myself as frivolous as a doll, and pitiful to boot. Perhaps that title wasn't completely serious, and perhaps I just thought it "sounded cool" at the time, but I think there is an underlying message there... The simple fact that I was okay with something like that representing me. I allowed that to define my online persona to people.

I'm not pitiful. And I'm made of flesh, not plastic. I'm an organic being (and not conventional -- no pesticides or for me... Human version of pesticides: white sugar, excessive salt and cigarettes). I love and respect myself on a level completely unknown to myself just a couple years ago.

If you've spent your entire life depressed and tired then you'll be in for a huge wake up call when you finally grasp some happiness in your life. I didn't know what it meant to be energetic until I was fourteen, and I hadn't a clue that what I felt then was only a glimpse of what being healthy could feel like (which I didn't discover until I was twenty).

How many of your years are you going to let slip on by without addressing who you are, what you want, where you're going, what your obstacles are and what you really care about? Ask yourself those questions. You should be able to write four types pages on each of those subjects easily. The topic is you.

Do you know you?

Think about it.

~ Raederle Phoenix

Happiness Assignment:

Write four typed pages on each of the following:

What do you want?
Where are you going?
What are your obstacles?
What do you really care about?
Who are you?

Angry Relationships

A good pen-pal of mine (I'll call her Alexis for this entry) whom I've had for years is having trouble in her relationship. I've been critiquing here essays for college for her, and every now and then she's been mentioning her love life in her letters. Her most recent letter:

From: Alexis
To: Raederle
Sent: Friday, May 6, 2011 at 11:17am

Hey Rae,
You're very helpful to my English assignments. I love your ideas. I have to use MLA format so that's why I don't include periods after quotes. Ehh...I just got done writing the final essay last night and included some of your input. Thanks! Get ready for next semester, lol; longer essays. This semester was only five pages or less.

I'm not sleeping very well lately and my relationship is going down the drain. I'm just sad about it. He doesn't want me around anymore, and when I do visit, he tells me to leave... :( He's always mad and I don't even do anything. When other people upset him, he takes his frustration out on me.

I learned in psychology that this is called 'displacement.' I hate it. It's like he's tired of me or the person that I am... because like I mentioned, I don't do anything and yet he gets mad at me. Why me?? I just want to cry. =(

- Alexis

---

From: Raederle
To: Alexis
Sent: Monday, May 9th 2011 at 6:30pm

Glad I could be of help!

My ex [whom I've told her a lot about in the past] had a displacement issue, for sure. Anger comes from many things, but anger is never 'justified.' It can be understandable. It can be a good reason to give compassion to someone in need. But it is never beneficial. It is an animalistic defense to help us raise our adrenaline to get us ready to defend ourselves -- it's meant to help us fight in a life or death situation. In modern society we shouldn't ever have to deal with a life or death fight, and thereby, most of us should never have any real use for anger. If we reflect on anger, and think about times when we've been angry we can think about how it has affected us and those around us in the past. It makes us do things we regret. It makes us say things we don't mean. It makes others respond negatively towards us. It clouds our judgment. Often it is even physically painful to feel anger.

If someone is perpetually angry they have a very serious condition. It's not normal, and it's not okay. It's even less okay for someone to continually take it out on someone.

You have two logical choices: Leave him is one option. The other option is to be compassionate and understanding towards him when he acts towards you with anger. You can say: "I can see that you're distressed. I want you to be happy and to feel good. If I'm in the way of that, I'll leave. Do you want me to leave?" If he says "Yes" well, then, leave. And most importantly, you have to not let this break you.

While sadness is not as disruptive to life as anger, it is also futile. It is not that you don't have reason, and it is not that it is easy to simply put on a smile -- it is only that being sad about his anger is not helpful. In fact, being sad about his anger is letting his anger, in a way, spread. It's spreading his negativity from him to you. The more people who resist negativity from others, who maintain love, compassion, peace, and happiness in the face of negativity from others, the more beautiful the entire world becomes.

In other words, by walking away peacefully, quietly, with a serene smile on your face, you are literally breaking the cycle and making the world shine brighter. Perhaps by reflecting on both the futility of sadness and the benefit of serenity and peaceful smiles, you may be able to overcome how upset his anger makes you feel. If you can't, then I recommend leaving the relationship in order to preserve your sanity. While it may make you feel more sad for a time, (maybe even a few months), it'll be worth it when someone who isn't angry all the time comes along.

Anger and sadness, by the way, can be dramatically affected by health. The pH balance in the bloodstream is directly connected to how you feel. Having an alkaline bloodstream promotes positive feelings, and having an acidic bloodstream promotes negative feelings. Alkaline creating foods: raw fruits and raw vegetables. Acidic-creating foods: meat, dairy, bread, pasta, beans, nuts, alcohol, and refined sugars. Also smoking creates acidic pH in the bloodstream.

*hugs*

~ Raederle

Related entry: Generating Happiness

Effective Education

I'm incredibly impressed and excited about this video.

This is the new age of education where we utilize technology to humanize and personalize education, allowing children to master subjects, learn at their own pace, and empowering teachers to help individual children with their specific problems, and even enabling the teacher to choose the correct student to tutor another student.

Watch this incredibly inspiring video:



I'm going to try this for myself, just for fun.

Namaste

~ Raederle

---

Ever wanted to see a logo created? Or see the creative process of an artist at work? You can see mine in my newest video on my art blog, click here to check it out right now.

Dose of Fun

Have you gotten your dose of fun today?



I love this video for a number of reasons. For one thing: people don't change unless the consequence of not changing is unbearable... Or they change because changing looks like fun. And guess what: we'll all have to live through an unbearable situation unless we see fun opportunities to change.

This is something I'd like to strive to achieve with rawveganism: making it as fun for others as it is for me. Yes, it was through hardship that I came to a dietary change, but that doesn't mean I have to wait for the world to fall to hardship to follow and jump on the healthy, economically and ecologically beneficial bandwagon. Rather, I'd like to show others the beauty, the flavor, and the fun of food in it's natural, most potent and pretty state: It's raw state.

Fun and happiness do not come from owning stuff.

Happiness and satisfaction does not from earning tons of money.

Happiness, satisfaction, contentment, thrill, fun... It is within experiences, within people, within emotions, actions, and the pride in a good deed done. Lasting love is contentment. Fun is a better reason to change for the better. It's a way to live a life that grows, expands and becomes wonderful effortlessly instead of through trial and tribulation.

Related entry: An unexpected benefit of going raw: discovering how fun it was to create and invent new dishes, discovering how beautiful food could be...

Stuff, Stuff, You NEED More Stuff!!!

Here it is: The Story of Stuff



Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff... Oh, I need more stuff because it fills up my time which I must idle away because I have not thought about my goals... I need these new light-bulbs for holiday decorations to impress my neighbors, I need these new shoes to outshine the other woman at work so I can get a promotion so that I can make more money so that I can buy even better shoes to outshine the women at work so that I can get another promotion... I liked my holiday dishes but now I want new ones to impress guests... I have lifeless hair, I'll just buy gels and hair milks for it without ever reading their ingredients, and I won't worry about if my hair gets less healthy in reality because it'll look better superficially while I pollute the planet... Oh, stuff, stuff, stuff, I love my stuff. Don't touch my stuff. I need my stuff. Stuff...

Related posts of mine:

A Corporation's Purpose

and

The Inter-relationship of Economics & Health

Women's Rights

I was looking at this beautiful artwork by Kris Manvell, which you can view by clicking here, and I read the description, which goes like this:

This picture expresses two subjects that are very close to my heart: Gaia (mother earth), and all things feminine (what some might call, the goddess).

We are all part of this earth, every human being, be they male or female, black or white, Turkish or British, we are all equally important.

Since the days of Emperor Constantine, on through the Inquisition, women have been brutally murdered, tortured and relegated to second class citizens because men want to rule. Conservative estimates say 20 million were killed. Their crime? Literalist Christianity labeled them witches.

In reality they were Gnostic (Shamanic) leaders: herbalists, healers, empaths, midwifes and teachers. They understood and worked with nature. These wise people were all but wiped out. They were removed from history, so all that remains is some superstitious footnote in our history books, labeling them pagans (a Roman insult).

Women were even written out of the bible, relegated to the role of prostitute or virgin. The great libraries, such as Alexandria, were burnt, partly to remove all evidence of the female role in our ancient history.

Originally, before Christian literalism took hold, women were held in high esteem and with profound respect. Men understood that they held the key to an area of understanding that had to be taught to them - by women. This part of our history is not generally known about, or even acknowledged, so I wanted to help bring this topic to light – especially as – in these dark times, women’s rights (such as they are), are being further eroded. I wanted also to express my fear for the health of our planet, our mother earth. Turkey’s greatest assets, its natural beauty, its women and agriculture are under threat.

A dear Turkish female friend of mine said to me, why did you paint a woman? I have no interest in looking at a naked lady; she said she would rather look at an olive tree. I said, but all things on the earth are part of this amazing creation, everything. We look at a tree in its natural state, naked, so why not a woman? We look unashamed at a beautiful flower, a magnificent view or sunset. There is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to fear. Men’s crude urges can be managed, why should women’s freedom be threatened because they choose not to?

There was no sexual motivation in this picture, this is merely my attempt to celebrate women and to show that the feminine side is equally, if not more important, than the male side of life. Mother earth sustains us, as do our mothers, so let us celebrate this fact. If a creator was afraid for us to see our natural state, surely we wouldn’t be born naked?

~ Kris Manvell

I had some thoughts of my own after reading this:

My comment: Women's rights concern me a little differently than most people. I actually feel that today's modern woman is one of the biggest threats to femininity that there is. The "working" woman, the "athlete" woman, the "strong" woman, the woman who always wears pants and never a dress, or the woman who is afraid to be naked, or the woman who doesn't ever want to "depend" on a man, etc, etc, etc... All of that was a great whip lash back against men. It was great to have the right to work, but now, women are shunning other women who want to be house wives, who want to sew, wear dresses, and cater to their men.

Kris Manvell's response: I feel the same. What you are saying is women who want to be like men. I love strong women – women like you – but to me that is the embodiment of the feminine. What is missing is empathy and compassion. I desire that women can be themselves – not ape some masculine idea of what humans should be like.

My comment: I love to clean, sew, craft, draw, write, paint, read, make meals, keep house, nurture, massage and create a romantic atmosphere. Feeling feminine and beautiful is very important to me.

Kris Manvell's response: I can see that It sounds lovely. Your partner is a very lucky guy:)

My comment: I have no desire to be "equal" to a man by being a "like" a man. Women are just as valuable by being women.

Kris Manvell's response: Maybe more so.

My comment: There is nothing "less than" about mothering, home schooling, being creative and crafty. These are valuable -- extremely valuable -- and our society is lacking in them because people are no negative when you do these things.

Kris Manvell's response: Totally. In my relationship we have a similar dynamic – but I share many of the (perceived) womanly roles. I do most of the cooking – I am the nester – the one who makes things nice (aesthetically speaking). I tend to tidy... We both clean the house – I tend to wash up, etc. But Ekin is breast-feeding and generally with Kaia, our son. I am the one that supports us financially – but I am doing as much as I can to help Ekin set up her own crafts business with her sister. We find a way to share. I work at home – so it is a juggling act. I want to be with Kaia – so my work probably suffers a little, but then I don’t actually believe in work – and what is important to me is sharing our lives together... I want to home school him – as I did my other two sons and nephews... Being creative is essential. And extremely valuable.

My comment: I've had so many people tell me that I'm "lazy" because I refuse to work a day job.

Kris Manvell's response: Be a wage slave... Why be that??? I refuse to be.

My comment: My husband can testify to the fact that I'm far, far, far from lazy.

Kris Manvell's response: To me it is not even an issue.

My comment: I love putting hours into creating the perfect meals, a clean and beautiful home, into gardening, into exercising and improving my body, reading and educating myself... I don't believe it degrades me in any way to clean up after my husband. If both people in a couple work a day job, then they should split the choirs. If one person does the majority of the money-earning, then the other person can compensate by preparing all the meals and doing all the cleaning. There isn't anything wrong with that. In fact, I'm perfectly supportive of house husbands!

Kris Manvell's response: Me too. I have this wonderful vision of the Bronte sisters... I mean that in the nicest possible way. When I first met my partner – the most important thing was for her to be free and for us to live – not work to live.

My comment: My point is, people should be able to fill the role they feel they are meant to fill. Anyone who strives to improve the world and educate themselves should be appreciated for who they are, and not degraded for what they're not.

Kris Manvell's response: Totally. You paint a wonderful picture. When I talk of women’s rights I have to be careful how I speak of course, being a man. But I am so glad you have said all this on this posting – it balances it beautifully.

My comment: Thank you for being part of the solution Kris. You rule. :D

Kris Manvell's response: You too. Love, Kris

My further letter in response:

I think it's nifty how you said you don't believe in work. Come to think of it, neither do I. In a natural world, there is no work. There is gathering wonderful food under the sun, nourishing the body and the mind and the Earth all at once. When you combine that with the company of someone you love, there is no work involved at all, it's a winning situation for everyone and everything involved.

As you gather fruits and eat them, you spread their seeds which allows the plant to grow in many new places. As the juice dribbles off your chin into the soil it nourishes the the plants which in turn nourish all of the animals. As you chew and swallow the fruit it nourishes and energizes the body. And as a bonus, any healthy natural human being eating a fruit is enjoyable to look at. I know I like watching my husband bite into a beautiful fresh plum. (This comes to mind because he ate a plum this morning on our walk together.)

I also like how you said the most important thing is being "free to live" not working to live. That's an excellent way of putting it. A friend of mine, Andrew, likes to say that it makes no sense to trade five days of slave labor for two days of "freedom." He points out that you have better odds in a casino than five to two.

I understand it's tricky to try and say similar things as a man. I often want to say things about "white people" versus "black people" because I grew up in a ghetto area and have been in three serious relationships with black men who considered themselves to have a certain level of "black culture." This life-long exposure has brought to the surface many realizations for me, but most of them I can not speak about because it is offensive coming from a white person, even though many black people have the same observations and thoughts. It's a tricky balance.

:D

~ Raederle

Photo taken February 5th 2011 on the Iron Horse Trail, Walnut Creek, California
Raederle Phoenix, photographed by her husband
Note: I was walking backwards at the time, believe it or not...


We all have the freedom of choice. Any faith is acceptable, as long as it is not disruptive or disrepectful of other faiths. Any orientation is okay. Any race, gender, geographical location: it's all fine with me. If you're a husband who lives off the money your woman makes, and you have a healthy happy relationship where you both are satisfied, then it's not my place to say it's wrong. I think any arrangement where two people love each other, live together, and are happy with their lives is a beautiful arrangement. More than two people? Sounds fine to me as well.

In Moderation

My friend Amy posted this as her status message on facebook:

Some days I want to scream. There is nothing on this earth that is truly bad for you, so long as you have it IN MODERATION. Too much of ANYTHING is bad, and even things like Vitamins and Iron can be overdosed on. You can have too much of a good thing.

- Amy

I would like to argue that you shouldn't need to take, or be taking, any pills, ever. Most of the nutrition from vitamins is not absorbed, especially if you're not eating uncooked live foods around the vitamins in order to provide the enzymes essential to digest and process the minerals in the vitamins.

That, however, is a side issue. Is there anything that we shouldn't have in moderation, ever?

Walter said; "As I understand it, there is no amount of death that one can have that is not bad."

Well, there is that, but personally I do not feel that death is bad. When plants die they make the soil rich for new plants. We live and we die, and that is natural and normal. Not to get into my religious beliefs, but I don't believe there is anything to be afraid of when it comes to the "being dead" part. I only am concerned about dying in such a way that isn't horribly painful or drawn out.

My own initial response was as follows:

I have to disagree. You can't drink a drop of mercury small enough to not be extremely detrimental. Coming from someone who had very severe mercury poisoning as a toddler and has suffered the consequences their entire life, I disagree completely. The normal amount of mercury in your body is the amount that is normal in lands untouched by pollution and modernization.

We're no longer living in a world where everything around us is something safe to have in moderation. Let's all just eat a little paint, shall we? Before we had so many chemical-created things around us, life was a bit different. A little dirt is actually good for you, and a little bark wasn't so bad either. Our ancestors knew which plants were poisonous, and which animals as well. I'm pretty sure that you can't have bites from black widows in moderation.

Walter goes on to add: "Also, my girlfriend would like to submit 'heroin' as another example."

I replied to Walter's thought:

Indeed. Let's all snort "just a little" coke. >.>

Sorry, not to beat up on you Amy. I know that it's possible to have too much of a good thing, and that many things are fine in trace amounts. But some things just are not in the category that I feel any amount is acceptable. Another example: Is "just a little" prejudice against people of another race, religion or orientation okay?

~ Raederle

Amy responded:

Hmm...Well I was specifically talking about the things with physical substance. Not the transient things like ideas/emotions/etc. As much as you or I may think an idea is wrong, to the person thinking it, it's not. And who are we to judge them on that? Those with prejudice against gays usually have it because of their faith. And I can't tell them that their faith is wrong. Therefore as much as I don't like it, I can't tell them that they're wrong.

As for the substantial things, I could argue that I know quite a few people who have only done cocaine and other hard drugs only once or twice in their lives and no more. It has not been detrimental to their lives. Addiction is only called that when it starts to affect your ability to live in the world (keep a job, go to school, pay your bills, have personal relationships, etc.)

Remember, cocaine comes from the coca bean. Something completely natural. Weed comes from a plant. Opiates are found in poppy seeds. We are the ones who turned these natural substances (along with stuff like mercury and more) into something that we need to consider "bad."

"Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so." - Shakespeare.

Right, but eating poppy flowers and/or seeds isn't the same as extracting a part of a poppy flower and then performing chemical processes and/or refinement methods.

My response:

Amy,

All good points, of course. You tend to make a lot of those.

But what about people who do acid once and then have an episode so negative that they have flashbacks for the rest of their lives? I know someone like that.

I also know someone who was so highly reactional to smoking weed that just a year of occasional smoking made his gums recede, and years and years later they have not grown back.

I know someone who was tricked into smoking crack (by a very awful person, obviously), and has never been the same person since; they became an addict off of that one shot.

I met someone once who was very loudly talking about how awful weed was, and I stayed around long enough to find out why. They had a friend who'd tried weed and even though they were not intoxicated on anything else whatsoever, they became a horribly irresponsible driver and ran over three people.

Of course, those are all examples of worst-case-scenarios. I know plenty of people who have done drugs and recovered. But again, I'm coming from a standpoint of wishing-to-goodness that I hadn't done everything I did. I now believe that I smoked some laced weed in my teens that messed up my digestive system. (It would explain a lot, and it fits perfectly.)

It's just better when you put your health first and do your best not to come in contact with things that may compromise your health. Sure, that one soda might not be the end of your life, but you never know down the line all the effects of just "a little." We don't actually know how much is too much, so if we know it's bad, why not just stay away from it all together?

Of course, there is the issue with people who believe something is bad that isn't. Then they may stay away from something that they need. For example, sunlight.

I've learned that the best defense against sunlight damage is detoxing and antioxidants. The better your pH balance, the less toxins in your sweat, and the more antioxidants you consume, the less likely sunlight is to cause burns.

Furthermore, you need sunlight. Without a certain level of sunlight daily, you will lack the vitamin D you need. No amount of milk will get you enough vitamin D, and in the process of drinking that insane amount of milk, you'll overdose on the drugs they put into the cows.

The amount of sunlight needed varies from one person to another. The darker the skin, the longer it takes to absorb the vitamin D from the sun. The further from the equator of the Earth, the longer it takes. That said, sunburning is very unhealthy and causes premature wrinkles.

So you can't avoid the sun 100% and be healthy, and you can be in the sun all day long (if you're white) and expect to be healthy either, and beyond that, you can't get the right about of sun without hurting yourself if your body is full of toxins, and your pH is too acidic.

I still think that moderating sunlight exposure; something entirely natural and normal is entirely different than moderating corn syrup.

There is nothing natural about injecting corn with bacterias and toxins in order to make it resistant to poison, then spraying it with tons (literally tons) of poison, and then harvesting it, shipping it, chemically processing it into sugar, chemically increasing the fructose ratio within the sugar and then adding that to a bunch of other lab experiments and calling it food. There is nothing natural there, and thereby, I feel I do not want any of it, ever, even in moderation. (Especially when a small amount of it would leave me feeling sick for days.)

~Raederle

How about, "All things in life in moderation that are given to us by nature in their unprocessed, unrefined, natural state of being." Except for things that are simply outright harmful to us, like poison ivy.

Inner Child

I have conversations in my head, I admit it.

Is that really wise? You know you're posting this online, right?

It's completely normal, and we all do it.

You can justify it all you want, but someone is going to disagree. Someone always does.

This conversation between yourself, and your other self, is a conversation (so I've just learned) between your Inner Parent and your Inner Child.

So which one am I? The Inner Parent or the Inner Child?

Hush you. I think you know.

This morning I discovered a website, by complete happenstance, that is selling a book to get you in touch with your inner child (and thereby stabilize your brain and give you peace of mind and repair all the traumatic damage your childhood did to your mind.) The site explains that your Inner Parent is formed from your experiences with your parents (or lack thereof) and that your Inner Child represents the person you were as a child.

I didn't buy the book, but I'm a clever chick. I figured out enough from the website to try out the basic exercise on my own.



The basic exercise is as follows:

• You hold a conversation, on purpose, between your Inner Child and your Inner Parent.

• The conversation lasts exactly thirty minutes.

• You want to spend no more than thirty minutes because you don't want to over-indulge your inner child.

• You don't want to spend less than thirty minutes because that communicates to your inner child that you don't care. Your Inner Child may try to trick you by suggesting to stop early. Continuing on shows that you care.

• You want to stick to thirty minutes also because this shows consistency. Not following through on what you plan to do is hard on your Inner Child just as it's hard on children when parents don't do what they promise to do.

• The Inner Parent speaks out-loud.

• The Inner Child speaks inside your mind.

• You record everything you say either on paper, or on your computer. Write down each and every single word you say, without altering it.

• If you do it on paper, draw a line down the center to make two columns. If on the computer, create a basic table and then put each question in the box to the left and the response (of your Inner Child) in the corresponding box of the table on the right. If you can not create a table easily and quickly on your computer, paper will be more comfortable for you.

• Write the Parent part on the left, and the Child part on the right. Inner Parent asks questions. Inner Child answers.

• After everything the Inner Child says, Inner Parent must say: "Thank you, Inner Child, for telling me that." I found this part to be very important and very helpful.

It makes the switch in my mind back to Inner Parent complete. At one part, where I was crying my eyes out, just saying the mantra "Thank you, Inner Child, for telling me that," I felt better. Not just better, I should say, but rather, like a switch had flipped and I was no longer in touch with the emotions that had just been making me cry and convulse.

• You always say "Thank you, Inner Child, for telling me that." No matter what the Inner Child says, even if your Inner Child asks a question.

• Do the exercise in the morning. The exercise will generate positive energy which will dissipate (at least partly) as you sleep. By doing it in the morning, you carry the effects with you all day long.
  

I found this exercise to be very uplifting and enlightening. ...Like all these unresolved issues and stresses inside came to the surface. It was like having a good cry, an hour's-long conversation with a good friend, and writing a good journal entry all wrapped up into a short half-hour session. I loved it, and I'm going to do it again tomorrow morning.

I felt that the responses from my Inner Child came naturally – so naturally that my vocabulary was even different. I wrote "grown-up" instead of "adult" when my Inner Child was speaking, which really surprised me. There were other similar instances of unusual vocabulary and word usage in general. Your Inner Child really is right there, under the surface, just waiting for you to talk to it.

This is obviously very personal, but because I found it so very beneficial, I'm going to share most of the session I had this morning.

Parent [January 6th 2011]	Inner Child [Session #1]
Good morning Inner Child. This is going to be my very first conversation with you. I'd like to ask you a few questions.	[Warm sensation in chest.]
Are you okay with this?	Yes. I am. I like this idea.
Is there anything troubling you?	I miss Mom. I feel trapped here. There is no outside source of protection.
What do you miss about Mom?	I miss hugging her. I miss knowing she is there. I miss the security and feeling safe. I felt special and loved.
Why don't you feel loved now?	I do feel loved, but it's in a different way. It's not as safe and as warm.
Why do you feel trapped, Inner Child?	There is no where to go, no where to run to. There is nothing outside. I am in a cave, by my self and there is no way out. There are responsibilities, and they never end.
What would make you feel less trapped?	Flowers. Plants. Fresh air.
Is there anything else you'd like to tell me about flowers, plants and fresh air?	I want to play. I feel playful around flowers and plants and fresh air.
What else makes you feel playful?	Feeling loved. Kisses, hugs, jumping, running, smiling, laughing, dancing, singing, swimming, ice skating...
What would make you feel more special?	Tea.
Is there anything else that you miss?	I miss having help. Nobody helps me do anything anymore. I have to figure everything out on my own.
What do you want help with?	Everything! Everything is so much easier when someone helps me. Even if it is only a little help.
What do you want help with the most?	Making food.
Inner Child, do you feel beautiful?	Yes. My husband loves me, and it makes me feel beautiful.
Inner Child, what do you feel about Jay?	He is kind. He is like a new father. He pays attention to me. He makes me feel loved and warm. His hair is pretty. I like his company. I wish he was around more. I like his help.
Inner Child, what else is on your mind?	Food. I think about it more than I eat it. It isn't right.
Is there anything else bothering you, Inner Child?	I think Dad is depressed. I'm not even there to do anything about it. I can't do anything! I hate being helpless. I am far away and I can not hug him and tell him that it is alright and that I love him very much. I miss him. I just got to know him and then he was gone. And it hurts so very much that I can't let him know how I feel and that he can't understand... That we can't understand each other correctly. I want him to know how much I love him, and how important he is to me, but I'm afraid he won't believe me. I miss him. I miss him so much.
If Dad were here right now, Inner Child, what would you say to him?	I love you Dad. I'm sorry I wasn't the child you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I never paid enough attention. You were at work so much, and I didn't feel like I had the chance... The reason... The opportunity... I didn't have a way to connect with you. I felt like you were distant, and I wish I could have closed the gap. I wish I could have tried harder to get to know you better while we still had so much time we could have spent together. I'm so very sorry. I feel like it's my fault, like your unhappiness is my fault. Like if I had been a better daughter, then you'd be happier now.
Inner Child, why are you crying?	Because it's hard to think about my regrets and what I wish I were doing.
Inner Child, what would make you feel happier towards Dad?	Being able to hug him.
Inner Child... Why... What do you want to do?	I want to play. I'm tired of trying to “be productive” all the time.
Inner Child, do you know what “our” heart hurts?	Yes. It's because I hurt. Duh.
Inner Child, do you feel that childhood was enough?	Yes – no – sometimes. I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel ready to move on, but sometimes I just want to curl up and go to sleep and forget I have to be a grown-up now.
What do you think of this conversation, Inner Child?	I think it's wonderful. We never talk like this anymore. Nobody talks to me at all anymore. I feel like I am dying – dead. I feel gone, and withered. I feel smothered and hurt. I feel like nobody cares that I exist. I am small, shrunken... I am unheard.
What would make you feel heard, Inner Child?	I don't know.
Where do you go when you feel unheard?	Deeper. I snuggle down into this thick black... blanket. It's liquid, but warm and fluffy. I hide inside and nobody can see me. You like it when I am unseen, right?
Why would you feel like I don't want to see you, Inner Child?	Because I make us look like a fool. I am wrong. I am immature. I don't belong. I don't fit in. I am not good enough. I am not like everyone else. I am not okay. It is not okay to be me.
Why do you feel like you're wrong, Inner Child?	Because I am! I make mistakes and then we're in trouble.
What sort of mistake are you afraid of making, Inner Child?	One I can't repair. One where nobody will love me anymore. I don't want to make a mistake where people I love will not look at me, will not talk to me, will not respect me – will not hug me, hold me, care about me anymore. I am going to hurt people I love if I do not hide.
Inner Child, where would you feel happier?	In loving arms. I miss being hugged. I no longer feel hugged when I'm hugged because it's not me being hugged. It's you! It's always you. You've killed me. I feel murdered.
Inner Child... What should I do, I need to be stronger to face the world, and I don't know how to feel strong when I'm... you...?	Let me out when nobody is looking. I'll behave.
Inner Child, what do you feel would constitute as misbehaving?	I'm not sure. Saying something that would get me in trouble... Forgetting something important. Leaving the door unlocked. Not making the bed. Making a mess... I guess.
Inner Child, how do you feel about memories of A Special Person I Won't Name?	He was wonderful! He talked to me all the time! He was always there for me... Sort-of. Well, I mean, he was good to me. He tried to acknowledge me and play with me. He talked to me for so long. He let me play with his Inner Child. We were friends. We were real friends.
Inner Child, we don't have much time left... What is the most pressing thought left?	I'm not sure there is anything “pressing” Mommy. I felt done. Thank you for talking to me.
Inner Child, we have one minute left... What else comes to mind?	Colors. I like to paint. We should spend more time painting. I love painting. And more music. There isn't enough art or music in our life. We need to play more. Please remember to play with me? And please, please talk to me again! I feel heard again, somewhat, at least. I missed talking. I missed it a lot. Thank you so much for listening to me.

Something I find fascinating is that I called myself "Mommy" in that second last response. Isn't that odd? I found it so natural and easy to assume two different selves; one parent, one child... It's as though I really have been divided this way all along, and I somehow didn't quite know it.

Also, isn't it miraculous that my Inner Child thanked me for talking to "her"? I found that astonishing too. Luckily I can type fast enough to capture my thoughts before I try to edit them. I would have a hard time doing this long-hand, personally.

You can buy the book if you want, but for me, I think I can come up with my own questions easily enough. I may buy the book just to be supportive or to see what else I can learn, but for now I'm happy enough with the new exercise as it is. The website is here.


If more of my personal angst interests you, I have recently put up my teenage angst-y poetry for public view here.

On a more serious note, more of my thoughts about how the brain works; here.

Also, I have an absurd pride for the food I eat every day (since learning to eat this way has taken years of research and adaptation), so I have this nifty photo log of my daily diet.

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to comment with your thoughts. Also, I'd love to read your session with your Inner Child. You may e-mail it to pitifulbarbie@aol.com with the title "My conversation with my Inner Child." It's very important you use that title so that I don't mistake it for spam.

What separates you from the rich?

My mother bought all of my clothing at second-hand stores up until I was around thirteen years old. I never thought anything of it as a kid, and I think it is a good policy. Healthy children spend time crawling around on the floors, climbing trees and playing in the mud, so why would you spend $20 on a brand-name pair of jeans for a child when you could buy a second-hand pair that was just as nice for $5 at thrift store?

Unfortunately, not all of my mother's spending habits were so brilliant. While cutting-out coupons, attending sales, and comparing prices will all make small differences in the amount you spend, it won't do much of anything to improve your over all quality of life, and it certainly won't make you rich.

Until I married, I had no idea that the difference between "rich folks" and "poor folks" was not necessarily income. By following my husband's example, I now see that I can live a much richer life without making more money.

As it turns out, the main separator between the "upper middle class" and "lower middle class" is spending habits and lifestyle habits.

---

Being rich is about having a higher quality of life, not about having more money. It's about being healthier and happier than you ever dreamed possible.

8 Steps To Being Rich:

• 1. Recognize that what you buy affects your entire life, your community, the environment, the government, the country, and the planet.

Your dollars are your biggest mouth in the world. They scream louder than your personal actions and words ever will to the guys in the "big chairs." Corporate CEOs, investors, the political big "somebodies" and so forth; they don't listen to what you say, they don't watch what you do, but they pay a lot of attention to what you buy. If you're just as willing to spend your money on products that are harmful to your body and the environment, and it is cheaper for them to make harmful products, then they will make harmful products because it makes them rich, and it makes their stock-holders happy.

• 2. Buy Organic
  

Various cheap laundry detergents will wear out your clothing, meaning you have to spend more on new clothes because you spent less on laundry detergent. Many cleaning fluids will ruin the surfaces you use them on over time, not to mention slowly poisoning your home with harsh chemicals. Organic, green and genuinely natural for the win. (Remember that "natural" on the label is meaningless.)

• Organic Soap

It's incredibly common to see people buy soap for $1.50 a bar, and then $3.00 lotion for the dry hands that result from the cheap soap. And worse yet, you still end up with dry hands despite reapplying the lotion ten times a day.

When I moved in with my husband I was confused by his soap. "My hands won't get clean!" I exclaimed. But then I would dry them and they didn't feel oily after all. It wasn't that my hands were dirty, it was that they were moisturized. I visited my parents for a time and my hands were so awfully cracked and dry. I used the lotions they had, but it didn't help at all. I realized my skin had been dry and cracked and somewhat hurting my entire life until I moved in with my husband.

I returned home to my husband and after washing my hands with one of his organic soaps five or six times, my hands were back to feeling smooth and richly moisturized.

The lesson: If you buy high quality organic oil-based soap that costs $5 a bar instead of $1 a bar, you will never need to buy lotion again. The soap actually leaves your skin more moisturized and healthier each use, instead of dry. Besides that, when you buy organic products you support smaller companies who need the money a lot more and stimulate the economy as a result. It's a more effective way of stimulating the economy than donating your money to some-such thing that says it's pro-jobs or pro-green or whatever.

• Organic Shampoo

The same is true for hair products. You'll buy a cheap shampoo and conditioner all-in-one that leaves your hair dried out and crumbling, and then buy hair-lotions, hair-sprays, hair-moose, etc, etc, trying to get your hair to look healthy, on top of dying the hair another color, or even your own color, just to get it to shine more.

Instead of buying all those cheap products that are full of chemicals and produced by large corporations who generally pollute the environment and outsource half their labor to China... You could just buy one or two really quality products. I am currently using this henna-shampoo that I found in the organic section. It lightly colors my hair a slightly redder tint because of the henna in it, and it doesn't strip my hair or leave it dry at all. Aside from that, all I use in my hair is a few drops of jojoba oil or coconut oil. (I use coconut oil when making my raw-treats and I wipe the excess off onto my hands and rub it into my hair. With olive oil I rub any excess into my skin. It's much more effective and natural than any lotion.)

• 4. Ignore "On Sale" Products

Have you ever bought something because you happened to see it on sale?

A good portion of the time the sale is not really real. You could get it for the same price as the "sale price" online, or somewhere else and they're just making it out as though they are selling it for less.

The other portion of the time the product is on sale because it is not a good product and nobody will pay its full price. If they would pay full price, then they wouldn't need to put it on sale. When people buy these products on sale, a good portion of the time they end up with something that doesn't work, or works poorly.

• 5. Research What You Buy

You can find what you really want for a price you can afford with a little bit of research online (or in person -- ask your friends and associates their experiences with the products they've recently bought.)

Read customer reviews
Read product-comparison articles
Read product-review blog entries
Watch product-review and product-comparison videos

Example of something we didn't buy because of research:

My husband and I were considering buying a juicer. It looked (from the specs) like it had everything we needed, and it was on sale. After skimming the reviews on the sales page I decided to get some opinions from other sites. I visited six different sites and skimmed around seventy product reviews. While three of the sites had only positive feedback, this is likely because the site weeded out any bad reviews. The other three sites I visited contained massive amounts of bad feedback saying that the juicer simply stopped working for most people within the first two months, and after being replaced it would simply quit again within two months. Some people even reported the juicer quitting after the first cup of juice it made. Just think what a headache we avoided because I skimmed a bunch of reviews!

Example of something we did buy after research:

My husband was upset that his set of knives had gone dull. He said to me that they were not very good knives to begin with, so perhaps he would just replace them for a better set. He wanted my opinion, so he asked me for it. My response was that they seemed like perfectly good knives, and I hadn't noticed they were dull at all.

He suggested that we buy a knife-sharpener in that case, because there was no need to get a better knife set if I liked the one we had. I was dubious that the knives needed to be sharper, but continued to seek a solution with him. He also proposed that we buy, perhaps, just one really, really good knife instead of getting a new set or a sharpener.

We looked around at some really, really good knives, but they ran around $30 or more for a single knife. We looked at some sets, but they were all of poor-quality or of high price. So then he researched knife sharpeners. There was a cheap option, of course, but eventually he decided to get fairly expensive manual knife sharpener.

Neither of us could be more pleased. All of our knives are sharper, and now I do see why having very sharp knives is better. It turns out I grew up with dull knives my entire life. And the best part? No matter how many knives we do or do not ever attain, we'll always be able to sharpen them.

• 6. Don't Impulse-Shop

"Shopping will make me feel better..."

Being depressed is not a good reason to go shopping and blow a paycheck. Instead, consider making yourself a banana-nut smoothie with soaked raw almonds, raw cacoa nibs, ground flax, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, a drop of coconut juice and five fresh organic bananas. All the omega and b-vitamins will give you a much more effective lift to your mood without breaking your wallet.

"The advertisement said..."

Who cares what the advertisement said. Advertisements are chocked-full of lies. There are blatant scams on advertisements all the time.

I once was unfortunate enough to purchase a product that supposedly would take the hair of your legs by "rubbing" with this particular fabric pad. The advertisement claimed it had been done for centuries in other countries, that it was easy, that it worked for anybody, that it was healthier than shaving, etc. The product doesn't work. Not at all. No matter how soft the hair, and no matter how long you rub, you're just an idiot rubbing your skin with a scam-product. If I had done some research first, I would have soon discovered other people complaining about the scam. There was no refund, but there was a bunch of plastic to throw in the trash.

"But this looks really cool, and what if they don't have it online!"

So it looks cool. But do you need it? Will you really use it? Could you jump up and down fifty times right now because you're so excited about buying it? If you can't jump into the air fifty times and squeal like a little girl about it, then you probably don't need it. That may sound absurd, but it's a test I use on myself regularly. If I can't make myself jump up and down and squeal, then it must not be exciting enough to spend money on.

• 7. Read Labels

Things come with labels for a reason. Don't just look at the part of the package they want you to look at; look at all sides, especially the ingredients. This applies to food, clothing, toys: everything.

Is it made out of cotton or wool or what? Don't waste money on something that you're allergic to, or that will pill on the first-wash-through in the laundry, or that is made in China. Instead of buying six items of clothing, two of which are going to wear out quickly, one of which you'll never really like anyway, and all of which are made in China, instead, buy one or two items that are high-quality that you will love for years and years.

Often the product that isn't half as flashy and costs a two dollars more is more durable.

The result from shopping this way: Less clutter in your home. Less trash and waste. More income going back to the community and small businesses. Higher quality products that you really love. Spending less money in the long run by not needing to replace items as often.

• 8. Buy Fresh Organic Produce

Many people buy conventional produce at the store, and frozen dinners, and other cheap boxed products. These foods contain toxins, chemicals and little nutrition. As a result, the people spend less money on food, but then spend three to ten times as much on medical bills, prescriptions, surgeries, etc.

The most effective way to combat this both from a health standpoint and an economic point is to grow as much of your own food as possible. Anyone can grow their own sprouts without sunlight, soil, or much space at all. A package of sprouts at the store will run you about $3, give or take. A sprouter will cost you $40. Your general sprouter will hold twice as much as one of those $3 packets at a time in sprouts. It takes somewhere from three days to a couple of weeks to grow them, and next to nothing for the seeds themselves. You can even sprout the seeds from fruit you've bought, the seeds that would have usually gone into the trash. If you grow one full sprouter-full of sprouts each week, the gadget will pay for itself in less than two months and you'll be able to continue growing them for life.

However, many people just can not conceive of giving up their television programs, sports activities, social occasions or whatever it is they are doing to spend time growing things. And so, I must simply propose that you make better choices at the grocery store.

Being ill is the biggest expense in life. You can not work, you can not play, you can not do anything at all if you're too ill to do it. And even being moderately ill is still serious, because then you work and play but you do both with little efficiency and wander through life feeling empty and wondering if there is more to life but not feeling like you can do anything about it... Meanwhile chugging several cans of soda and never making the connection between how terrible you feel and what poor fuel you're giving your body to make it's millions of cells out of each hour.

Another tip, as an aside: Don't count calories.

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Raederle's sage wisdom for the holiday: Pay the extra dollars or cents for organic and local products when you can. You'll be doing a great thing for the economy, the country, the region, yourself, the environment, your health and your conscience all at once. It's a win-win-win-win-win all around. And in the end, it saves you money too.

Recession Reconsidered

The "bad economy" is a myth. First people buy things they can't afford. Then they hoard their money. Then they spend the little they do spend to huge corporations who send the money overseas and line the pockets of rich folks. Little money makes it back into the community because not enough people shop at local businesses. More money hoarding. It perpetuates itself.

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John Leathers says: "Raederle, I couldn't agree with you more. Once I worked at a bank selling mortgages. The bank would often approve home loans for people what would take 45% of people's pre-tax income. People would often want something much bigger, though, and ask for a loan with a payment that would take 65%, 75% or 85% of their pre-tax income It's difficult for some people to know what "enough" is, apparently. I was amazed about how eager some people are to go into debt."

Nathan Jett says; "Debt will mean nothing when the dollar is worthless..." and suggests watching The Obama Deception.

John Leathers: "That would be a real mess."

Nathan Jett: "That will be a real mess."

John Leathers: "It will be good for tourism. We'll have lots of foreigners coming to the USA on vacation to take advantage of the weak dollar."

Nathan Jett: "I think when that day comes there will be more people leaving USA than coming to USA."

John Leathers: "Northern California's already like that. We lost people during the recession. Many immigrants, especially, left the state and moved back with their families down south.
"Everyone's got their own philosophy about dealing with any future crisis that occurs. My plan is just to see what arrives when it arrives and deal with it then.
"If the sky's falling I'd rather not know about it. I grew up during the worries about the USA-Soviet nuclear apocalypse. I'd rather just live my life and enjoy today than spend the whole time worrying about something I can't control that could happen tomorrow."

Raederle: I agree that sometimes it's better not to know the sky is falling. Keeping our heads up, keeping positive and sticking together are better than being depressed. Although, it's also ignorance of the public that has people in the messes they are in today.

Nathan Jett: "Oh don't get me wrong, I am in now way worried. I just like to be informed."

Raederle: I also like to be informed, but each American can not learn everything there is to learn about all the issues causing the economic struggle, the unemployment, the obesity, the rising cancer and diabetes rates, and every other issue we're facing.

I try to simplify what I do about it. Instead of trying to research each and every thing in the world and figure out if I trust it or not, ...I just keep following the same principles:

Be compassionate
Buy organic or local whenever possible
Waste as little as possible, recycle as much as possible
Teach others when they are willing to learn
Learn from others when they are willing to teach
Be as healthy as possible and inspire others to do the same
Bring art, love and life into the world
Boycott anything I learn is particularly hazardous
Don't buy things made in China
Hand-made whatever I can
Grow as much food as I can

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Brian Honeycutt says: "I always thought the idea of a recession was sort of funny given that the resources available are basically the same, so it is just a redistribution of energy and money to me."

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Sarah Leven writes: You can't really blame people for buying from massive corporations anymore. Our society has gotten to be so poor that every dollar counts.

Some food purchases are difficult to make outside of a supermarket. As far as I know, there is no locally owned supermarket near my house. Up in Buffalo there is one but driving 30 minutes to buy groceries is kind of a stretch. Not to mention, they sell specialty items and not a lot of traditional meal ingredients. And it would cost me probably twice as much to shop there and I honestly can't afford it. I do try to frequent farmers' markets or other such things but in Western New York, that's a seasonal option.

The real problem is that the middle class is shrinking -- most people are going down into poverty levels. A two income household where one person loses their job can be difficult to make up the difference in income. I do agree that a lot of these families have a lot of extras that they don't really need. I've been watching the show "Downsized" on WE and it amazed me how wastefully that family lived.

Yet for some families, they already don't have a ton of extras and a family of five trying to live on 25,000 a year is tough. So you've got three kids and school is coming up. They need at least a couple of new outfits (since stuff gets ruined and children grow) and school supplies for the school year. Lets say you have about 600 dollars scraped together to accomplish that. That's 200 a kid. You need to buy them clothing, probably a new pair of shoes, paper, pens, pencils, folders, a backpack, etc. Personally the first place I would stop is a thrift store of some type to see if there were some good deals there. However, thrift stores cost about the same as Wal-Mart so I can understand the families that prefer to just go get it new. And thrift stores are usually a npo so shopping there isn't really helping the economy much anyway. I'm honestly not even sure where I could take my kids to buy locally made clothing.

Eventually as capitalism sets in more and more in these cheap labor countries, they will demand higher and higher wages. Eventually the jobs will come back here. However, it probably won't happen in my lifetime, and definitely not any time soon. The main reason you can't find stores to sell locally made goods is because the support isn't there. But it's difficult at the point we're at as a society to put support into local businesses.

I whole-heartedly agree with you on people not putting their money to work where it should. But as a struggling American who cannot find decent work and who wastes very little, I can understand it. We do have a broken economy because of how insane the debt got. People were buying too much house or too much car and it artificially inflated everything. Greed set in at both the corporation level and at the personal level. The problem is that now things are so broken, it will take a long time to fix them.

As a small business owner, I compete with Wal-Mart. Sadly, the materials alone for the jewelry I create are more than the necklaces at Wal-Mart. Mine are unique and are of a higher quality but people still will balk at the 20 dollar price tag. The materials for that necklace are about five dollars and takes me about six hours to stitch together. I wind up making less than 3 dollars an hour for the pieces I sell. Other jewelry crafters hate me because of my low pricing but I still have the average customer shying away when they hear the price. But they think nothing of buying a video game for 20 dollars that they play twice and then never again. But the mentality is, I could just buy a different necklace for a lot cheaper. And since Wal-Mart pretty much sells it all, I stand no real chance. There is a small movement going against big corporations now and if people could snap out of the desire to just get as much stuff as cheaply as possible, our country might stand a real chance.

~ Sarah Leven

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Second hand is better than Wal-Mart. It's a choice anyone would make if they understood the state of the environment and our impact upon it, and the state of the economy and our impact upon that.

On principle, I'd buy the hand-made jewelry. If someone is too strapped for cash to buy handmade jewelry, then they have no business buying jewelry. It's a luxury. It's not needed for anything, and the only real excuse for needing some is if you're working a career as a model. And as a model, you don't want to be wearing department store jewelry anyway.


Cheap plastic junk.


Cheap plastic junk.



There is no place anywhere for department store jewelry. It's worthless junk, and much of it is never worn, never used, never appreciated, never enjoyed, and just clogs landfills so that fat cruel rich corporate folks can milk the sheeple of America dry.

If everyone stopped buying jewelry, make-up, body lotions, hair products and so forth and instead paid a little extra for organic whole foods, then they'd save a lot of money and be a lot healthier and look much more beautiful without the cheap jewelry, make-up and toxic lotion and sprays. Want your hair to have body? Braid it up, get it wet, dry it, and take the braids out. Want your skin to shine? Eat soaked seeds and raw vegetables. Want to decorate yourself? Buy jewelry from a local merchant, not from a department store.

...How to get these important messages to masses? (Those above, and those below.)

Be compassionate

Buy organic or local whenever possible

Waste as little as possible, recycle as much as possible

Teach others when they are willing to learn

Learn from others when they are willing to teach

Be as healthy as possible and inspire others to do the same

Bring art, love and life into the world

Boycott anything you learn is particularly hazardous

Don't buy things made in China

Hand-made whatever you can

Grow as much food as you can